I'M AS NOWHERE I CAN BE

could you add some somewhere to me.

67,247 notes

materiajunkie:

"Curing AIDS? Shit, that’s like Cadillac making a car that lasts for 50 years. And you know they can do it, but they ain’t going to do nothing that fucking dumb. Shit, they got metal on the Space Shuttle that can go around the Moon and withstand  temperatures of up to 20,000 degrees, you mean to tell me you don’t think they can make an El Dorado with a fuckin’ bumper that don’t fall off?"

- Chris Rock (“Bigger and Blacker”, 1999)

(via orgasmic-humor)

410,035 notes

download:
12 minutes remaining
download:
15 seconds remaining
download:
0 seconds remaining
download:
3 hours remaining
download:
20 minutes remaining
download:
347 hours remaining
download:
2 seconds remaining
download:
14 minutes remaining
download:
download complete

684,053 notes

oeuniverse:

In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’

(via orgasmic-humor)

138,645 notes

randomguy2015:

ridge:

me as a parent 

LOL

(via orgasmic-humor)

107,200 notes

Anonymous asked: When girls go out wearing tiny, tight, skimpy outfits, I mean they have the choice to wear something else. some thing less provocative, so really girls are asking for it.

scalelectricity:

If you’re out in public and I see you’re not wearing any protective headgear does that give me the right to smash in your skull with a hammer? I mean you asked for it, since you’re not wearing something to protect your head.